SHIT HAPPENS
TAOISM:
Shit happens.
RASTAFARIANISM:
Let's smoke this shit.
BUDDHISM:
If shit happens it isn't really shit.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS:
Let me in your house and I will tell you why shit happens.
No shit happens until Armageddon.
JUDAISM:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
AGNOSTICISM:
What is this shit?
CATHOLICISM:
If shit happens, you deserve it!
Shit happens because you are bad.
PROTESTANTISM:
Let shit happen to someone else.
CONFUCIANISM:
Confucius say, "Shit happens".
ZEN:
What is the sound of shit happening?
JESUITISM:
If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?
ISLAM:
Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.
PSYCHOANALYSIS:
Shit happens because of your toilet training.
SCIENTOLOGY:
Shit happens if you're on our shit list.
ZOROASTRIANISM:
Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.
UNITARIANISM:
Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.
RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM:
Let this shit happen to someone else.
REFORM JUDAISM:
Got any Kaopectate?
MYSTICISM:
What weird shit!
AGNOSTICISM:
What is this shit?
ATHEISM:
I don't believe this shit!
NIHILISM:
Who needs this shit?
AZTEC:
Cut out this shit!
QUAKER:
Let's not fight over this shit.
FORTEANISM:
No shit??
12-STEP:
I am powerless to cut the shit.
VOODOO:
Hey, that shit looks just like you!
NEWAGE:
Visualize shit not happening.
DEISM:
Shit just happens.
EXISTENTIALISM:
Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
SECULAR HUMANISM:
Shit evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:
Shit is in your mind.
BUDDHISM:
Shit happens, but pay no mind.
SHINTOISM:
Shit is everywhere.
HINDUISM:
This shit has happened before.
WICCA:
Mix this shit together and make it happen!
HASIDISM:
Shit never happens the same way twice.
THEOSOPHY:
You don't know half of the shit that happens.
DIANETICS:
Your mother gave you shit before your were born.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST:
No shit on Saturdays.
MOONIES:
Only happy shit really happens.
HOPI:
Corn fertilizer happens.
BAHA'I:
It's all the same shit.
STOICISM:
This shit is good for me.
OBJECTIVISM:
Our shit is good for you.
EST:
If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.
REAGANISM:
Don't move; the shit will trickle down.
FASCISM:
Shit makes the trains run on time.
CARGO CULT:
A barge will come and take all the shit away.
EMACS:
Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.
DISCORDIANISM:
Some funny shit happened to me today.
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