Say Bill Gates said:
- Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression
- If debugging is the process of removing bugs, programming must be the process of putting them in.
- Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
- Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
- Real programmers don't document. 'If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.'
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
- Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
- Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
- Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
- A flying saucer results a nudist spills his coffee.
- For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
- I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
- The beatings will continue until morale improves.
- I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
- Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
- There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
- I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
- Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out.
- If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
- Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
- If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
- Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
- It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
- Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
- Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
- Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
- Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
- Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Do witches run spell checkers?
- Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
- Copywight Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
- Dain bramaged.
- Department of Redundancy Department
- Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
- What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
- Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
- COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
- Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
- 2+2 =5 for extremely large values of 2.
- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
- C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
- <-------- the information went data way --------
- the definition of an upgrade: take old bugs out, put new ones in.
- breakfast.com halted...cereal port not responding
- the name is baud......, james baud.
- buffers=20 files=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5yards to go!
- access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
- c:\ bad command or file name! go stand in the corner.
- bad command. bad, bad command! sit! stay! staaay..
- why doesn't dos ever 'excellent command or filename!'
- as a computer, i find your faith in technology amusing.
- southern dos: y'all reckon? (yep/nope)
- backups? we don' *need* no steenking backups.
- e pluribus modem
- file not found. should i fake it? (y/n)
- ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
- a mainframe: the biggest pc peripheral available.
- an error? impossible! my modem is error correcting.
- congress.sys corrupted: re-boot washington d.c (y/n)?
- does fuzzy logic tickle?
- a computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
- th commandment - covet not thy neighbor's pentium.
- 24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case...coincidence?
- disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
- windows: just another pain in the glass.
- senile.com found . . . out of memory . . .
- who's general failure & why's he reading my disk?
- ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
- ram disk is *not* an installation procedure.
- shell to dos... come in dos, do you copy? shell to dos...
- all computers wait at the same speed.
- definition: computer - a device designed to speed and automate errors.
- press smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
- enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
- ascii stupid question, get a stupid ansi!
- e-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
- help! i'm modeming... and i can't hang up!!!
- all wiyht. rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- error: keyboard not attached. press F1 to continue.
- '640k ought to be enough for anybody.' - bill gates,1981
- dos tip #17: add device=fngrcros.sys to config.sys
- hidden dos secret: add bugs=off to your config.sys
- press any key... no, no, no, not that one!
- press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
- excuse me for butting in, but i'm interrupt-driven.
- reality.sys corrupted: reboot universe? (y/n/q)
- sped up my xt; ran it on v! works greo?_~
- error reading fat record: try the skinny one? (y/n)
- read my chips: no new upgrades!
- hit any user to continue.
- 2400 baud makes you want to get out and push!!
- i hit the ctrl key but i'm still not in control!
- will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
- disk full - press f1 to belch.
- backup not found: (a)bort (r)etry (t)hrowup
- backup not found: (a)bort (r)etry (p)anic
- (a)bort, (r)etry, (t)ake down entire network?
- (a)bort, (r)etry, (g)et a beer?
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